A Song of Ice and Fire, or how to lose your fans in five extremely complicated steps.

Since A Game of Thrones began, I've been wondering how, being a known fantasy geek, and moving in geeky enough circles, I could've missed hearing about the Ice and Fire books, and how come I don't know anyone who's ever read them? Now that I've almost finished reading the currently published four books, and learned more about them, I understand why this is.

George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" books are very long, very complicated, and very rich with characters. So rich that there's an iPhone app to help you keep track of who is who and what they've done. There are about fifteen main characters, through which the story is told. Meaning that each chapter is named after one of those characters, and is told through their point of view. The first three books, published respectively in 1996, 1998 and 2000, tell the story very well, switching from one POV character to the next, and moving forward in time through all of them. Then, apparently, Martin spent five years writing book 4, and announced in 2005 that it had become so long and complicated that he had decided to split it into two books. He published the first of them around the end of that year, and the next one is due this July. However, here's the little surprise: the book was split in two not chronologically, but per character. Meaning that both of them would cover the same time period, but each would feature only half the main characters.

So, to sum up; in 2000 Martin published book 3, which ended with rather nasty cliffhangers for most of the characters. Five years later he released book 4, which only continues half the story, and the other half is expected this July 2011.

Now, I became an eager Harry Potter fan in the worst possible moment, just after book 4 was published, so I know something about authors blueballing their readers, but even I have to say that this is beyond cruel. Much like the mad king from the Ice and Fire novels, who once placed a man in a situation where he had to watch his father burn or hang himself in the attempt to save him, George R.R. martin is abusing his power over his audience. And I know about the time it takes to create as well, and about artistic perfectionism, but it's too much. The thought that there are people out there who've been wondering about the faith of Tyrion Lannister, the only relatable character in the bunch, for over ten years, makes my blood run cold.

Where was I going with this? Oh, I remember. So, I now understand that the reason I hadn't met any Ice and Fire fans until now, was that they've all probably died, lost their minds, or are trying to forget the books ever existed. As well they should. Not cool Mr. Martin, not cool at all.