Piazza Della Signoria

This place was in my dreams long before I ever went there, and long before I knew it actually existed. i thought I was dreaming an enhanced version of my hometown.

The Three Musketeers 2011

People who didn't spend their primary school years carrying around Alexander Dumas' novel everywhere they went, can probably let this year's cinematic adaptation pass without comment. I am not such a person, and also I'm not a person who likes to let things pass without comment. And so, here we are.

From this point on, this post contains spoilers for both the book and the movie. The movie, of course, cannot be spoiled, and if you haven't read the book by now you have only yourselves to blame.

The creators of this film obviously found some of the book's elements too vulgar for their tender tastes. For example, all the nasty extramarital affairs, and unsightly female deaths. So they took them all out - the gentle queen Anne, of course, did not have an affair with Buckingham, and the sweet young Constance was not, of course, married. How could she be? She was waiting for the love of her life to ride in from the sticks on his orange horse. And of course she survives all the dangers on the way to have her kiss at the end of the movie. Even the wicked wicked Milady gets to live - and why shouldn't she? Her worst crime in the film was loving her career more than her moody boyfriend Athos. Surely spoiling her outfit with a little salt water is enough to sort her out. Also gone are the captain of the musketeers De Treville - one of my favorites characters, the musketeers themselves - apparently disbanded just before D'Artagnan shows up due to double-dip recession, and most of the plot, especially everything that happens after the diamonds adventure.

Strangely, after cleaning the storyline of these nasty nasty things, the writers found that they needed to add some vulgarities of their own - as big and vulgar as they could think of. So they turned the musketeers - the only three they had left (hey, the title only calls for three after all) into some kind of Mission Impossible secret scuba squad (I'm not kidding, they scuba!), added flame-throwing air ships (they make the annoying trip to and from London so much easier), turned the Duke of Buckingham into a total douchebag (that way the queen couldn't possibly like him), crash-landed into the roof of the Notre Dame, and, of course, had D'Artagnan kill Rochefort in a long and boring rooftop sword fight. At the end of the book, of course, D'Artagnan and Rochefort become friends, but that would've just confused today's tender-hearted viewer. Oh, and Rochefort had an eye missing. Scars are so subtle.

Having said all that, I need to insist that there were several excellent things in this movie, which made it almost worth watching:

All of the production design was breathtakingly beautiful, as was Milla Jovovich (what the hell is that woman made of?!). Most of the casting was spot-on, in ways that it hasn't been in previous adaptations. D'Artagnan was an adorable young goofball (the kid leading the horse), and so was the king - excellent! It was very smart to make them so much alike, in fact in all their scenes together they look like they're about to collapse into each-other's arms.

Usually the Cardinal and Athos (feather hat guy) are the sexiest men in the story, but this time Athos was totally flat, and Christoph Waltz as the Cardinal was good, but unexciting. This made room for two very sexy actors to take the parts of Porthos and Aramis (the big one and the one with the cross). I dare any hot-blooded  woman to watch this film and not fantasize about a threesome with those two!

The fact that they made Buckingham a strutting douchebag bugged me, but on the other hand Orlando Bloom as a strutting douchebag was great, and it's about time for him to lay off the elf stuff.

In conclusion ... oh hell, I don't have a conclusion. Long live the king, long live Paris, long live the Louvre, Notre Dame Cathedral and the Musee d'Orsay!

Waking Life

Me, a couple of days ago: "It's, you know, like when you're trying to dial a phone in a dream, and you can't see the buttons and can't get the numbers right..."

Me, last night while dreaming: "Man, this is just like when you're trying to dial a phone in a dream and you can't see the buttons and can't get the numbers right..."

A Song of Ice and Fire, or how to lose your fans in five extremely complicated steps.

Since A Game of Thrones began, I've been wondering how, being a known fantasy geek, and moving in geeky enough circles, I could've missed hearing about the Ice and Fire books, and how come I don't know anyone who's ever read them? Now that I've almost finished reading the currently published four books, and learned more about them, I understand why this is.

George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" books are very long, very complicated, and very rich with characters. So rich that there's an iPhone app to help you keep track of who is who and what they've done. There are about fifteen main characters, through which the story is told. Meaning that each chapter is named after one of those characters, and is told through their point of view. The first three books, published respectively in 1996, 1998 and 2000, tell the story very well, switching from one POV character to the next, and moving forward in time through all of them. Then, apparently, Martin spent five years writing book 4, and announced in 2005 that it had become so long and complicated that he had decided to split it into two books. He published the first of them around the end of that year, and the next one is due this July. However, here's the little surprise: the book was split in two not chronologically, but per character. Meaning that both of them would cover the same time period, but each would feature only half the main characters.

So, to sum up; in 2000 Martin published book 3, which ended with rather nasty cliffhangers for most of the characters. Five years later he released book 4, which only continues half the story, and the other half is expected this July 2011.

Now, I became an eager Harry Potter fan in the worst possible moment, just after book 4 was published, so I know something about authors blueballing their readers, but even I have to say that this is beyond cruel. Much like the mad king from the Ice and Fire novels, who once placed a man in a situation where he had to watch his father burn or hang himself in the attempt to save him, George R.R. martin is abusing his power over his audience. And I know about the time it takes to create as well, and about artistic perfectionism, but it's too much. The thought that there are people out there who've been wondering about the faith of Tyrion Lannister, the only relatable character in the bunch, for over ten years, makes my blood run cold.

Where was I going with this? Oh, I remember. So, I now understand that the reason I hadn't met any Ice and Fire fans until now, was that they've all probably died, lost their minds, or are trying to forget the books ever existed. As well they should. Not cool Mr. Martin, not cool at all.

Czernobog / Bielebog

This is from Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" - a book I've developed a strong fetish for. The part where Shadow and Wednesday stay with the Russian gods is one of the best parts, where surrealism mixes with the reality of an old immigrant's household:

Czernobog shook his head. He looked up at Shadow. "Do you have a brother?"

"No," said Shadow. "Not that I know of."

"I have a brother. They say, you put us together, we are like one person, you know? When we are young, his hair, it is very blond, very light, his eyes are blue, and people say, he is the good one. And my hair it is very dark, darker than yours even, and people say I am the rogue, you know? I am the bad one. And now time passes, and my hair is gray. His hair, too, I think, is gray. And you look at us, you would not know who was light, who was dark."

"Were you close?" asked Shadow.

HTML

One of my minor achievements that I'm pleased with, is that I've learned basic HTML. Nothing that will get me a Noble prize, I know, but it comes in useful every day. For example, I have built my website by myself. I can tweak the controls of this blog, for example, and I can add the little window on the side here that takes you to my new "Self Portraits" page. Make sure you check it out - I won't be showing any new additions here anymore.

Substance - a self portrait

"Galapagos" read by Jonathan Davis

I'm listening to the "Galapagos" audiobook, read by someone named Jonathan Davis, who uses such a heart-breakingly melancholy voice that he makes me want to curl up under the covers in a fetal position and wail like a wounded baby seal. Very appropriate for the subject matter.

random

I wish I had gone into theoretical physics instead.

random

I dreamed that I went on a date with Larry David. Not real life Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" Larry David. He took me to an expensive restaurant, but then he went out for a minute and got mistaken for a bellboy in the hotel next door, so he spent the rest of the evening carrying suitcases up and down the stairs and whining.

I like it when dreams are plausible :]

WALK! - - my big walk tutorial

How do I put my work after Fellini's? Let's try.

This is a tutorial I've been working on for a while, after thinking a lot about how they teach walk animation in schools and books, and how each animator discovers a very different reality when he or she go out to their first jobs. I've shown the method that works for me, and I hope it helps other people as well.

ונדטה עקובה מדם

בקיץ הזה יש לי כוחות לונדטה עקובה מדם אחת, אבל שני נושאים בוערים על הפרק. אחד: תסרוקות ה"הלוואה וחיסכון" שמזהמות את נופי הארץ. שתיים: השימוש הדבילי בקיצור "ת'-". שניהם מציקים לי כבר שנים, ובזמן האחרון הגיעו למאסה קריטית. התסרוקת הנ"ל מהווה מפגע סביבתי כל הזמן, אבל החשיפה המוגזמת של אבי בניהו בימים האחרונים הופכת את הבעיה לצורמת ורלוונטית מתמיד. מצד שני הקיצור של המילה "את" ל"ת'-" נפוץ בקרב שתי אוכלוסיות שאני שונאת במיוחד: אנשים בלתי מגניבים (פרסומאים) שמנסים לדבר לקהל הצעיר והמגניב, ומשוררים עצלנים שלא מסוגלים לחשוב על דרך מקורית יותר להרוויח הברה. אביב גפן, למשל, שייך לשתי הקבוצות האלה, ולכן משתמש בקיצור הזה אולי יותר מכל אדם דובר עברית אחר.י

אז אם, כמו שזה נראה, מלחמה חסרת מעצורים היא בלתי נמנעת, אני צריכה להחליט מי יהיה האויב.י

A realization:

All things considered, I'm probably not a ... what's that term again? A people person.

Blocking, smoothing, polish - a self portrait

Based on an actual Bruce Campbell

I've been using this sequence from "Evil Dead 2" as reference for work. My animation probably won't turn out this cool, but I'm having a lot of fun in the process:

Felipe Bedoya

I've had three attempts so far to use Facebook. The first one was just to see what the hell - under a false name, and just for a few weeks. The second time I went in there for marketing reasons, to publicize my portfolio. That time I used my real name, and I tried to "befriend" everyone I saw that had some kind of artwork in their profile picture. The I left again, and a couple of months ago I went back with three distinct purposes: one, to keep up with my friend Karen who moved to Canada. Two, to draw attention to my blog (hello new followers!). And three, to find an artist who's name I forgot to save, but who's works, especially the one below, left an enormous impression. When I revived my Facebook account I couldn't find him, and I was pretty depressed about it, but last week I finally saw his familiar icon in the "suggestions" box. So this time I don't intend to lose him - his name is Felipe Bedoya, he's from Columbia, and he seems to be enjoying some well-deserved success, which makes me very happy.
This is his website: http://www.felipebedoya.com/

על קו הזינוק - החברים של נטאשה

ממש לא מזמן גיליתי שכולם חושבים שהשיר הזה הוא על סקס. לי היה ברור, מאז הפעם הראשונה ששמעתי אותו, שהוא מדבר על מערכת יחסים. יכול להיות שאני טועה, יכול להיות שמיכה שטרית בעצמו אמר שזה על סקס, אבל אם כן, אני מוכנה להתעלם ולתת לו בכל זאת יותר קרדיט מזה. פשוט כי אם זה על סקס, זה שיר משעמם וגרוע - ומי בכלל רוצה לשמוע שיר על זיון? ואם "המירוץ" הוא מערכת יחסים, הרי שזה שיר די מבריק ושנון ורק הפזמון מעצבן.י

Signs of madness revealed by the search history:

...and yes, I know that's spelled wrong :/

Anna Karenina revisited

I feel the need to clarify - when I said about Madame Karenina "may she never darken my doorstep again" - well I did mean it, but I wouldn't say that the book didn't have any enjoyable parts. I feel like making a list of the things I loved. If you've read the book you might enjoy the reminders, if you plan to read it, the next section is spoilers, and if you're the other 90% of humanity you can just spare yourself this post. Here we go:

The whole beginning where Levin loses Kitty to Vronsky and Kitty loses Vronsky to Anna is funny and moving and an interesting insight into the way people used to interact in those years.

Karenin the husband is a great character throughout the book.

I love the way the book deals with how everyone else's affairs except Anna and Vronsky's are light-hearted little games that revive the spirit and often serve to promote the social status of the couple.

Levin's struggles with metaphysics, if they weren't so draaawwwwn ouuuuut would've been very enjoyable. For sure the part where he joins the peasants in cutting the grass, even as it is six or seven chapters long, managed to move me deeply. After that, the chalk proposal is one of my favorite love scenes ever.

The part where Lavin's brother is dying and Kitty takes care of him is maybe my favorite part, but Tolstoy manages again to drag it out for much longer than necessary.

The character of Varenka, in her influence on Kitty in the times when Kitty thinks she might remain an old maid, and later on when there's a pathetic attempt to get her engaged to Sergey Ivanovitch, is for me one of the most thought-provoking and memorable parts of the book.

There's the episode where Dolly is jealous of Anna's life, and disgusted with her own state of constant pregnancy and humiliation, including a peasant girl she meets that tells her ‘I had a girl baby, but God set me free; I buried her last Lent’ - in her misery, Dolly even manages to be jealous of that girl for a while.

Another thing I loved was the horrible succubus woman that latches herself to Karenin, culminating in the great seance scene they force on Stiva.
 --
About the movie: it was pretty weak, but well cast - Sean Bean as Vronsky (naked, yummy!) and Sophie Marceau as Anna, Alfred Molina as Levin (weird) and the always pleasantly annoying Mia Kirshner as Kitty. The actor who played Karenin, James Fox, was as good as Karenin is in the book.

Anna Karenina

After six years, I have finally managed to get rid of that horrible woman. May she never darken my doorstep again.

Observation: I am not particularly moved by tales of all-consuming, inherently destructive love. Nor am I partial to lengthy lectures on late 19-th century agricultural ethics.



P.S. Now I can finally watch the movie :D